"After you spend two or three days pouring [sic] over the 'Best of' ballots sent in by C-VILLE readers, a clear divide in our fair city emerges. We've got our own brand of civil strife, Just like Verona, and we've got our ruling families, too our answer to the Montagues and the Capulets - and it's their story that will now be part of the traffic of our stage. -In the final analysis, you see, Charlottesville is divided into two households, both alike in dignity (but thank Heaven, not yet alike in mutiny): Wahoos and townies.

It's easy to decipher who's in which camp. For 'Hoos, all answers are simple. Best Landmark - The Rotunda. Best Picnic Spot? The Lawn. Best Tradition? Streaking the Lawn. Best Reason to Live Downtown? The Cavs left it blank, or, as one person wrote, 'There is none.'

And participants in the sect's ideal relationship, apparently, never need to leave the grounds of Mr. Jefferson's University for any reason: Their votes show they make out in the Alderman stacks, propose on the Lawn, get hitched in the UVA Chapel, copulate on the 50-yard-line in Scott Stadium, and (presumably) have their babies switched at the UVA Hospital.

The townies, on the other hand, never leave the Downtown Mall (and voted for it as the Best Landmark, Tradition, Free Event, Public Restroorn and nearly all other categories, too), choosing to languish in their avant-garde bohemia and comment to one another how progressive they are, all the while bashing UVA at every opportunity.

They're also the only ones who actually voted for 'Best Manicurist/Pedicurist.'

Reading through these ballots, one can almost see a pair of local Charlottesville savants, sitting for a power lunch on the patio outside Hamiltons', one checking George Loper's website on her laptop, the other filling out a C'VILLE 'Best of' ballot with such answers as 'Best Bumper Sticker: Gore 2000.'

Maybe this isn't fair, though. Maybe the multi-layered, kooky, variegated entity that is Charlottesville should be split into two distinct halves. But that question, friends, is now the traffic of our stage. And what here we shall miss, our toil shall strive to mend" (Billy Ciucci, C-VILLE Weekly, July 18-24).

Every one seems to love Mr. Jefferson, but let's face it: icon that he is, the man is long dead. Second place goes to newly anointed councilman Kevin Lynch, but TJ - including entries of Tom and Martha, and Tom and Sally - came out on top as the representative standard-bearer for all Charlottesvillians.

Popular donkeys: Local Democratic state senator and charter member of the Couric American celebrity dynasty, Emily was the dear winner. But Maurice Cox, who's been stirring up the complacent Charlottesville Democratic waters like it's his job (and, as head of Democrats for Change, it is) won a substantial percentage of the votes and proved that people are noticing his labors.

Rogue Picks: Gail Bentley, for toiling tirelessly on her own behalf 'That crazy bike lady,' Lauren Cooper, received a few for her anti-auto picketing.

It's no surprise that the ubiquitous Professor Sabato, the dial-a-quotesmith whose droplets of wisdom are sought by parched pundits and pollsters alike, goes home with the trophy. Rita Dove and John Dearth each got nods from some of you for their contributions to the creative arts.

There's nothing worse than showing up 20 minutes late for a movie because you didn't know what time the flick started and then not understanding why the killer wouldn't wear purple to the dinner party or why the cop dressed as a transvestite butler in order to see if the boss's daughter had the mark of the beast on her hand, all because you missed the opening scene. Unless it's showing up 20 minutes early and having the while away the time playing an ancient arcade game of Ms. Pacman that has a broken joystick all the while inhaling the aroma of stale popcorn. Charlottesvillians avoid these fates by visiting cvillemovies.com Musictoday.com won second place, and George Loper's website won a few votes from the Dem faithful.