"I always hear that dogs love us unconditionally and that their doggy devotion is an irresistible quality for human beings, especially human beings who are lonely.

However, I disagree about this so-called unconditional doggy love. The dogs I have encountered have a varied if limited emotional spectrum and some of their mood swings do not include unconditional adoration. I can think of several dogs that get quite bored, irritated and resistant when they want to play and I want them to continue to work on their training. The expression on their faces, while not mean, is not one of affection. I think sometimes that if they could, they would give me a finger rather than a paw.

And while dogs are always delighted to see their owners, they can be pretty easily impressed with food and a squeaky toy in the hands of a stranger. Dogs nip the hands that feed them, disobey, tear up stuff, growl and express their fears and frustrations with us in a myriad of ways. Nothing about that sounds like unconditional love.

Rather, we become suddenly patient, tolerant, indulgent and forgiving with them. We stand around in the rain and snow and pick up their doggy doo without a thought. We spend vast amounts of money on toys, treats, and accoutrements for them (which they chew up in seconds, ignore, bury, lose or cover in slobber, mud and unspeakable smelly stuff) and we don’t hold it against them. We love them and don’t keep score on their mistakes and misdeeds.

We rush them to the vet the moment we sense they feel unwell, we keep up with their vaccinations and check ups while we ignore our own health. We feed them the finest we can afford and think nothing shortchanging ourselves to make sure they are well fed and comfortable. We laugh it off when they sneeze on us, we worry about them when they hack up something on our Chinese silk carpet; we spend hours on their grooming and then shake our heads with happy resignation when they wallow in dead worms, squirrel carcass, and other dog secretions and then bounce back home to share their pungent smells with the carpet, the sofa, the curtains and our beds.

I did not find it strange when I exercised the dog the other morning that I ran in the grass while she ran on the sidewalk. After all, as I explained to the heehawing peanut gallery, she doesn’t like to get her feet wet in the early morning dew. Who cares if it looks like my dog has me well trained? I do not find it strange that prison personnel immaculately dressed and absolutely professional, will fall to their knees and enjoy a dog covering them in hair, mud and slobber. I see no contradiction when the obsessive compulsive who brushes her teeth 100 times a day is giddy with joy over doggy kisses to her mouth. I am not amazed that a nurse who may very well have received her training at the School of Pain and Suffering is Good for You, becomes soft and tenderhearted with the puppy and intrigued by every detail of her well being. It seems completely natural to me that frightened women shake off their timidity and self-consciousness in the presence of a wagging tail and big brown eyes.

Of course, not every human being responds with love to dogs–animal shelters abound with human discards–animal cruelty flourishes. And not every dog recovers from abuse and neglect to become a friendly companion. Dogs learn to give respect and learn good manners through socialization and training, but they choose whom they love. And the quality of their love, just as in the quality of human love, is dependent on the individual. Some dogs have a big heart–they are full of courage and tenderness. Some dogs are friendly to everyone. Some are aloof with strangers but strongly attached to one person whom they adore.

The difference is we don’t call that dog a snob. We allow our dogs to be themselves and enjoy them as they are. Even when they demonstrate greater affection for other people, we accept their ways and foibles. Or when our perfectly mannered dogs are naughty and rambunctious in public, we don’t scold and nag them; we blame ourselves for being imperfect trainers. We don’t expect dogs to be something other than what they are. We love them unconditionally. And that makes us feel so good we give the dogs credit."(Elizabeth Haysom, Fluvanna Review,August 16, 2007)

An index to Elizabeth Haysom's columns may be found at Glimpses from Inside.