80% of infants are born with a natural right-sided dominance. But due to the law of Unintended Consequences, this meant that today, 80% of infants are left-breast fed. The political fallout, as Mr. Jefferson might say, is therefore self-evident to Virginia Attorney General Ken Cuccinelli and anyone else who does the math is it not?

So let be the first to apologize to him for our 24/7 Internet echo chamber, fueled by breast-beating bloggers, cable show jockeys and talk radio chest-thumpers who have been mocking Virginia's Attorney General for showing displeasure with the exposed female left breast on the official State Seal of Virginia. Ken, these folks are just uneducated, lacking even a modicum of intellectual curiosity, or knowledge.

On the other hand, you and I, who paid attention in college, and didn't get a social promotion by sleeping with our professors [okay, just my English teacher but in my defense, I really needed those last 3 credits to graduate on time] were paying attention during Psychology 101.

So we know the facts of life.

Those 80% of all infants were born with a God-given right side dominance for a reason.

As Albert Einstein said, God didn't play dice with the universe.

But the laws of nature were then subverted by the laws of nurture.

A right sided woman will naturally breast fed from the left side.

Moreover, you don't have to be a Victoria Secrets model to know that the left breast tends to be larger, and thus the more powerful one in human psychology.

80% of all infants are breast fed.

Meaning the great majority of them are fed from the left side all during that important first year of cranial development, before they can watch Glen Beck or Sean on the TV, hear Rush on the radio, listen to the O'Reilly factor, not to mention Fox news or Ann Coulter.

Moreover, we know that statistically, women are now the backbone of the Democratic - as L.I.B.E.R.A.L. - party.

So do the math: You have this growing cadre of liberal women using their larger left breasts to fed unsuspecting, otherwise right-sided infants.

All of us are born into a world where 80% of infants are happy with their right-side dominance.

So how then did Democrats get 53% of the vote for president in 2008, along with huge majorities in the Congress?

Even Dr. Watson can figure that out on his own!

Thus, the Virginia State Seal is to Mr. Cuccinelli, or any right-sided male, a symbol of encouragement, if not endorsement, of this situation.

To the naked eye, the Goddess, with her left breast exposed, is the one slaying the tyrant.

But to the truly informed like Mr. Cuccinelli, it is the Goddess, in her pose, that is the real tyranny here.

(Paul Goldman, May 5, 2010)

(c) Copyright. All rights reserved. Paul Goldman. 2010