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New
Year's political resolutions President George Bush: Capture Osama bin Laden, end the war and bring back our troops alive. Vice President Dick Cheney: Become the new host for "Wheel of Fortune," sponsored by Halliburton Corp. Political columnist Ann Colter: Replace Vanna White on Dick Chaney's new TV show (see above). Democratic presidential candidates: Talk about the economy, not the war. Howard Dean: Enroll in anger-management classes. U.S. Attorney Gen. John Ashcroft: Read two George Orwell novels, 1984 and Animal Farm. U.S. Sen. John W. Warner: Retire gracefully - please. U.S. Rep. Bob Goodlatte: Remember what term limits are. U.S. Sen. George Allen: Please replace Dick Chaney as Bush's 2004 vice-presidential candidate. Virginia Gov. Mark R. Warner: Promise not to break campaign promises. Former Gov. Jim Gilmore: Write book, Car Tax Refund for Dummies. Attorney Gen. Jerry W. Kilgore: Stay away from tanning beds and listening devices. Lt. Gov. Timothy M. Kaine: Stop hiding behind Gov. Mark Warner's shadow. Sen. John H. Chichester, R-Stafford: Join the Virginia Club for Growth. Sen. R. Creigh Deeds, D-Bath: Rural Virginia needs you to run for Virginia attorney general. Sen. Emmett W. Hanger, R-Mount Solon: Change the state song, not the tax code. Sen. Mark Obenshain, R-Harrisonburg, and Virginia GOP chair Kate Obenshain Griffin: Remember your father's legacy. Del. Robert G. Marshall, R-Prince William: Trade places with a woman for a day. Del. Steve Landes, R-Weyers Cave: Cut more government red tape, and protect Shenandoah Valley farmland and the environment. Del. Ben Cline, R-Rockbridge: Stop hiding behind Bob Goodlatte's shadow. Del. Chris Saxman, R-Staunton: Buckle up and start advocating a sensible, Valley-friendly solution to I-81. Del. Glen Weatherholtz, R-Harrisonburg: Start new career as a conservative political comedian. Del. Allen Louderback, R-Luray: Please withdraw your service-sales tax proposal. Virginia Department of Environmental Quality: Shut down the Page County landfill. Local city and county government officials: Preserve our quality of life. Virginia Republican Party: Remember Urban Virginia. Virginia Democratic Party: Remember Rural Virginia.
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