Today I received my Republican National Committee Victory 2000 Membership Card.

For a minimum donation of $25, I am told that I can directly affect which Party leads our nation into the 21st century.

For my $25 donation to the GOP, I am assured the return of honor and dignity to our government and our political system, parental control of education, a cut in taxes for ALL working Americans and a rebuilding of the readiness of our military.

And here is what Jim Nicholson, chairman of the Republican National Committee has to say about Al Gore.

"'In Al Gore's America,' Nicholson says, 'the Ten Commandments are renamed the Ten Suggestions, Boy scouts are booed when they lead the Pledge of Allegiance at his own convention, and school children who want to pray at high school football games find their microphones turned off by the government.'

.....

Nicholson's speech describes 'Al Gore's America' as 'a world where black is white, where up is down, where good is evil,' and 'a fantasy world best described not by C.S. Lewis in 'The Chronicles of Narnia,' but by Lewis Carroll in 'Alice in Wonderland'" (Mike Allen, The Washington Post, October 3, 2000).

How can you beat that?

Please send your comments to george@loper.org and the most representative will be posted with full attribution.

P.S. "The limited edition Victory 2000 Member Card has been issued to the bearer by the Republican National Committee in recognition of the extraordinary level of commitment to the Republican ideas and values that are the foundation of our Party and our country."

P.P.S. I previously said that I would pay $25 to the first Democrat who can establish how I got on the GOP list in the first place.

Comments about how I might have gotten on the list have been received from John Conover, Virginia Germino, Sue Lewis, Susan McCleary, Carolyn Jones Silver, Steven Sisson, Aron Teel, and Henry Weinschenk.

I am told by the RNC that they buy promotional lists all the time and that this particular entreaty came as a result of my subscription to The Economist. They also keep a record of who comes from what list.

As a consequence of this disclosure, I declare my friend John Conover the clear winner. See below.

1. Dear George,

I got one [Victory 2000 Member Card], too. It is now resting in the waste basket, but I can fish it out if you want to ride up to DC & jointly enjoy the benefits of membership.

I will tell you how I got mine. The Economist. And I am pissed. I thought the Brits had a better standard of manners and privacy.

I subscribe under the name Lord Robbins. That is the only place I use that alias. My RNC card came to Lord Robbins.

If you got yours the same way (or by another mailing list), send me the $25.

If you got it because the Geo Loper website is now nationally famous (eg, checked thrice daily by Matt Drudge, etc.), send the $25 to help retire the City Council campaign debt.

John Conover (electronic mail, October 4, 2000).

2. Oh, George,

I am so envious. Here my moments of glory had been so trifling: CREEP's list, plus Virginia Friends of the Police, Marine Corps recruiting services, and Our Lady of Perpetual Whatever--Lourdes medals, and the like.

You have topped all, you conniving dog.

Virginia Germino (electronic mail, October 3, 2000).

3. George:

This is a no brainer. Please send me the $25. I have gotten on their mailing list many times before. The hardest way to do this is by voting in one of their primaries for one of their weakest candidates. I did that once, many years ago, to help Chuck Robb getting elected senator. I can't even remember the lousy republican I voted for. He had requested that democrats vote for him in the primary and I obliged. He didn't make it, but Chuck won anyway.

The easy way to get on the Republican --or shall I say Republic Party?, since they love to call us the Democrat Party, rather than Democratic Party-- is simple. Just let them think you are rich, and George they think you are rich! Anything will do, have an American Express credit card, drive a luxury car, live in a fancy neighborhood, own a business, etc. etc. and they will automatically assume you are one of them.

Look forward to my 25 bucks. I'll buy you lunch with them.

Regards,

Henry Weinschenk (electronic mail, October 3, 2000).

4. George,

Congrats on your RNC Victory 2000 card. Wish I could say I submitted your name.

Aron Teel (electronic mail, October 3, 2000).

5. George,

Maybe, Paul Harris?

Steven Sisson (electronic mail, October 3, 2000).

6. George,

Do you subscribe to any business magazines? I get mailings all the time from the RNC and other elephant fund-raisers, assume it's because of my work.

Sue Lewis (electronic mail, October 2, 2000).

7. George,

Bet it was the [Paul] Goldman list!

Susan McCleary (electronic mail, October 2, 2000).

P.S. If I'm right, give the cash to your local committee!

8. George:

I can't establish how you got on the list, but I too am a card-carrying member of the Republican National Committee. For several years I had the card on my kitchen bulletin board for all to see.

As I had never voted Republican (except for one split-ticket episode when I was young and foolish), nor obviously ever registered Republican, that had to be from a mailing on spec to a list -- people who had subscribed to something, given in charity, belonged to some organization, etc.

I believe that confusion on the part of party fundraisers is not that rare. (But then, of course, you're kidding.)

Carolyn Jones Silver (electronic mail, October 2, 2000).