George,

It seems clear to me in this campaign that George Bush Jr is handicapped by the fact that his father never did for him what George Washington's father did for his son.

By this I mean that like young George Bush, George Washington was also a native of Texas. The Washington family owned a spread on the Pedernales River, where the family lived in an adobe hut, which was shaded by a single mesquite bush. When young George was six years old, his father give him a little machete as a gift. A few days later young George went outside to try his new machete, and he chopped down the mesquite bush.

When George's father came home from riding the range and looked down on his spread from a rise, he saw what had happened to his mesquite bush. He came riding down the slope furiously, jumped off his horse and called out, "Who cut down my mesquite bush?" Young George, who was standing in the doorway of the adobe hut, dropped his machete, ran to his father, put his arms around his neck, and said, "Father, Father, I cannot tell a lie. I cut down your mesquite bush with my machete."

Thereupon George's father grapped his son by the shoulders, held him at arm's length, looked him straight in the eyes and said, "Son, if you can't tell a lie, you will never grow up to be a man in Texas."

And he sold out, packed up his family, and moved to Virginia.

That, at least, is the story which the VEEP, Alben Barkley, used to tell Lyndon Johnson.

P.S. There is also an Arkansas version of this story, but it is more uncouth.