"First Dude speaks, and he's funny! Todd Palin was the surprise hit of yesterday's tribute lunch for Cindy McCain.

"Is it just me, or do things move quick around here?" quipped the GOP's favorite stay-at-home dad. Yeah, as already oft-repeated, he's a card-carrying steelworkers union member and seasonal fisherman but, as of yesterday, the campaign announced, he's Mr. Mom. He deadpanned that his family had "quite a week. . . . If I had a crystal ball a few years ago, I might have asked a few more questions when Sarah decided to join the PTA."

The "future first Second Man" (as "The View" co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck introduced him) brings rugged looks, a killer grin and non-compete style to the ticket. "I'm so grateful I don't have to worry about what he's going to wear," McCain (red sleeveless dress, four-strand pearls, hair pulled back) told the crowd. "We don't have to compare notes. I love it!"

The "One Heart, One World" luncheon, hosted by Women for McCain, packed 1,000 women into the Minneapolis Hilton ballroom for strawberry soup, chicken salad -- and a touch of vinegar. Hasselbeck snarked that unlike "another wife of a political candidate who shall remain nameless," McCain co-hosted "The View" without a list of topics that "we weren't allowed to touch." Oooo, take that, Michelle Obama!

McCain attack cat Carly Fiorina said she was "proud and outraged" to defend the veep nominee from "sexist attacks." Take that, elite liberal media! And Jon Voight popped up again ("He's everywhere!" squealed one fan) to share that being with Republicans this week "makes me feel I'm taking the proper road on my journey." Cindy, he said, reminds him of his can-do mom: "Any woman who has raised a family is overqualified for any job." Take that, chauvinist pigs!

McCain said nice things about her husband, her charities, her kids and her country. "If we have an opportunity to become your president and first lady," she said, "I can tell you for myself I promise to do the best I can with the most dignity and the most grace that I can humanly measure up to."" (Amy Argetsinger and Roxanne Roberts, 'The Reliable Source,' The Washington Post, September 5, 2008)